Editor’s note: Join us for a live, high-impact webinar designed specifically for growth-minded advisors. Chris Holman leads the two-day virtual workshop: Transform Your Discovery Meeting May 19–20, 2025
Many advisors understand the habits that hold them back. They’ve seen the data, recognized the blind spots, and even have attempted to practice new behaviors.
So why is it still so hard to change?
Most advisors want to evolve. They read about best practices, attend workshops, and hear industry experts emphasize the importance of deep discovery, trust-building, and listening more than talking. Yet when it comes time to actually change their approach, many don’t.
This resistance isn’t about knowledge. Advisors understand what needs to change—implementing it is another story. The real challenge isn’t skill, it’s mindset.
The financial services industry rewards competence, expertise, and control. Advisors spend years mastering complex financial strategies, staying current on regulations, and providing clients with clear, confident answers. That creates tension. On one hand, they recognize the need to shift their approach in discovery meetings. On the other, change feels risky, uncomfortable, and even unnecessary—especially for those with a successful track record.
Understanding why change feels hard is the first step to overcoming it.
Expertise and the illusion of certainty
Advisors are trained to be experts. Prospects come to them expecting confidence and clarity. This creates a powerful mental trap: the belief that “I already know this.”
Overconfidence bias can make advisors assume their current approach is effective enough. Many advisors don’t realize how much they dominate the conversation until they watch themselves back. The shock isn’t in what they hear, it’s in what they missed. Changing isn’t about admitting failure. It’s about seeing clearly enough to grow. The best advisors know that expertise isn’t static. It evolves.
Change isn’t about fixing what’s broken—it’s about refining what works. Instead of proving expertise through answers, advisors can show it through curiosity and adaptability.
The comfort zone problem
Familiarity feels safe—even when it’s ineffective.
When an advisor has done something the same way for years, changing it feels like a risk. The brain resists disruption and defaults to what’s easy and familiar. That’s why some advisors still rush rapport, rely on fact-finding, or over-explain. These habits feel easier—even if they aren’t effective.
This comfort trap is even stronger when the old approach still “works.” If clients are still coming in, why fix it? But client expectations evolve. What worked yesterday might not work tomorrow.
Even with awareness and tools, old habits resurface—especially under pressure. That’s why change must be conscious and intentional. Left on autopilot, we return to what’s comfortable.
Discomfort isn’t failure. It’s friction—and friction signals growth. Top advisors lean into it and push beyond their habits.
Vulnerability is not weakness
Discovery requires presence, openness, and emotional engagement. That can feel risky.
Some advisors resist change because it means giving up control. Asking deeper questions, allowing silence, or admitting uncertainty may feel like a loss of authority. But prospects don’t expect perfection—they expect authenticity.
Ironically, the more advisors try to project total control, the less trust they build. Prospects want to feel understood, not managed. The best discovery meetings happen when advisors listen deeply and respond in real time—not when they follow a script.
Prospects trust real people, not polished presentations. Pausing, asking, and truly listening shows confidence—not weakness.
Discovery isn’t about data—it’s about trust
Many advisors treat discovery as a fact-finding mission—a way to gather data and demonstrate competence. That mindset is backwards.
The goal of discovery isn’t to collect facts. It’s to build trust.
Prospects don’t choose advisors for what they know. They choose based on how understood they feel.
When advisors reframe discovery as trust-building, their behavior shifts. They ask more open-ended questions, allow silence, and respond to what’s actually being said—not what they expect to hear.
Discomfort is the growth signal
Advisors often assume that discomfort means something’s wrong. But discomfort is a hallmark of learning.
Think of any major growth moment: taking the CFP exam, leading a first client meeting, having a difficult conversation. None of those felt easy at the time—but they led to progress.
It’s the same with discovery. Asking a personal question might feel awkward. Letting silence linger might make you anxious. But those moments often spark the biggest breakthroughs.
Top advisors don’t avoid discomfort. They move toward it.
The habit of improvement
The best advisors aren’t the ones who “mastered” discovery years ago. They’re the ones who are still improving.
They seek feedback, review their own meetings, and participate in coaching and role-play. They treat growth as a practice—not a checkbox.
Change isn’t a one-time decision. It’s a habit.
Self-audit: One actionable step
If you want to improve, start by identifying what’s holding you back. Try this:
After your next three discovery meetings, jot down:
- One moment where you felt completely in control
- One moment where you felt slightly uncomfortable
Then ask yourself:
- Did that uncomfortable moment lead to deeper engagement?
If yes, how can you create more of those moments in the future?
Small, consistent adjustments drive real change.
Evolve or fall behind
The best advisors aren’t the most polished. They’re the most committed to growth.
Change doesn’t mean you were doing it wrong. It means you’re ready to do it better.
Choose one mindset shift to embrace today. Then act on it.
The only advisors who fall behind are the ones who believe they don’t need to change—or wait for change to happen on its own.
Thoughts to carry forward
- Knowing what to change isn’t enough. Advisors must overcome mindset barriers like overconfidence, comfort zones, and fear of vulnerability.
- True discovery is about building trust, not just gathering facts, which requires asking deeper questions, embracing silence, and listening more.
- Growth happens through discomfort, self-audit, and continuous refinement. Top advisors evolve, while stagnant ones risk falling behind.