According to a 75-year longevity study from Harvard, good relationships keep us happier and healthier, reports Daniel G. Amen in his book Feel Better Fast and Make it Last. He goes on to note that positive social connections help us live longer, while loneliness can kill us prematurely. Sadly, one in five Americans is lonely. Another lesson from the study: being in a positive, warm, satisfying relationship keeps our brains and bodies healthy into older age.
We have a fundamental need to belong that’s just as essential as our need for food and water.
Loneliness or disconnection from others is associated with an increased rate of depression, cognitive decline and dementia. Being in loving relationships is every bit as important as sleep, a healthy diet and exercise.
This issue is particularly important right now as we emerge from the pandemic—re-entering social life is joyful but can be challenging for many. It is crucial now to extend ourselves, to look for ways to spend time with people who are important to you. Think of this time as an investment in your health and the health of the relationship.
How you can help improve the health of your clients
As a financial advisor, you are in a position to have unique conversations with your clients. Oftentimes you are the person in your client’s life with whom they can share thoughts and feelings they are not comfortable sharing with other important people in their life.
As a trusted confidant, you also have the opportunity to delve deeper into aspects of their life that may seem taboo if broached by other professionals (with doctors or therapists and such being the exception).
Many of your clients have become close friends over the years and you want the very best for them. You, and they, have worked hard to create, what many would consider, a satisfying life.
However, as the above information illustrates, not everyone is living a satisfying life. On the contrary, many clients are leading lives of loneliness.
Are there clients that may have fewer relationships in their lives than they would like, whether due to leaving the work force or losing a spouse? Empty-nesters can get lonely. Or perhaps they are of an age where close friends have passed on. Moving, over-prioritizing work or even changing jobs can bring on these kinds of issues, too. Which of your clients could be facing these kind of life stage issues?
What can I do?
You are familiar with FINRA’s Know Your Customer rule. You are obligated to know your customer’s name, address, Social Security number and the like.
But what if you went even further to know your customers?
What if you asked your clients about their health, about their social engagements? What if you discussed the health benefits of being socially active?
As an advisor, you are in a position to encourage adult children or other trusted people to get involved in the financial aspects of your clients. What if you also encourage adult children and/or other important people in your client’s life to get involved in their social health?
Reaching out methodically
I’m the one who keeps connected to the important people in my life. Sometimes, months or even years would go by without connecting with certain friends if I didn’t take the initiative. To remedy this, years ago, I decided to keep track of when or how often I connected with these folks.
A simple tracker (see Figure 1 below) helps me stay connected with these important people in my life. I can easily see who I haven’t spoken with in a while. Even my out-of-state friends are on the list, so I can stay connected with them via telephone or Zoom.
Over time, some people have dropped off the list while new people have been added. I know I likely won’t connect with everyone on the list every year, but without keeping track, multiple years may go by without interaction.
I didn’t put the list together to improve my health, but I do look forward to having get togethers on the calendar, so in a sense, it does help improve my overall health.
Extroverts and introverts
There will certainly be some people in your life who are either more or less interested in staying connected on a regular basis. Don’t be offended if someone important to you isn’t as enthusiastic about staying in touch as often as you desire. Remember, the world is made up of both extroverts and introverts. Extroverts draw energy by being in the company of others. Introverts are often drained of energy if too much time is spent in the company of others.
Discuss social activities as part of your next review meeting
Think about the upcoming client meetings you have this week. Could limited social contact be an issue for some of these clients? Next time you are walking your client through an account review, ask them about their social calendar. Just as with any homework you might give your client after a review meeting, challenge them to increase the number of social engagements between now and your next review meeting.
My social tracker
Here’s what my tracker looks like. This example is a simple tracker created in Word. You can do something similar in Excel or whichever tool works for you or your client.
Figure 1: Keeping Track of Friendships
Source: Teresa Riccobuono
Here’s a simple way to stay in touch with your clients
While you are at it, whenever possible, keep in touch with clients on a regular basis—be deliberate about it. Here’s an article I wrote on balancing client meetings and random calls throughout the year. Just as with friends, without a plan, too much time can pass between client interactions. People may be left feeling neglected or anxious. I encourage you to make a plan and then work the plan. For friends, for clients, for clients and their friends!
I can’t guarantee you or your clients will feel better, but my guess is they will—and so will you!